#62: Balancing Faith & Family While Scaling with Jay Owen, Founder & CEO of Design Extensions
As humans, we are always in a different stage of life.
Maybe, you’re like me and just had a baby, or maybe, you just moved into a new house.
And as entrepreneurs, we are always in a different season of business.
Sometimes we may be launching new products and be super busy, but sometimes we may get to sit back and see the business run without us.
What if your seasons of life and seasons of business don’t line up?
My guest today, Jay Owen, Founder & CEO of Design Extensions, discusses navigating different seasons of life and business, including:
The importance of getting out of the way and allowing your employees to ultimately thrive or fail on their own.
Finding time for faith.
His secret to growing your business without sacrificing your sanity.
Learn more about Jay here: https://jayowenlive.com or check him out on Instagram @jayowen.
Check out my new free new training on www.yournextmillion.me, where several of my seven figure clients and colleagues share what they're doing in the next year to scale their businesses to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond.
Listen to the Show:
Laura (00:03):
So here's the challenge: so many entrepreneurs dream of leading a life of impact by creating a multi-million dollar brand, but only a tiny percentage of businesses actually scale to that point. On this podcast, we speak openly and authentically about what it takes to scale your business, following the journeys of innovators, disruptors, experts, and leaders, looking at the behind the scenes of their most challenging moments and greatest lessons learned. My name is Laura Meyer and I'm your host. I'm a serial entrepreneur, wife and mom to three. I love talking all things business, especially digging into the mindset and strategies of scaling joyfully to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond. Let's go!
(00:49):
Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Scale with Joy podcast. I want to introduce you to Jay Owen, the founder and CEO of Design Extensions. We're going to be talking about all things scaling. He has a really successful marketing agency, he is also a faith-based entrepreneur. And so we'll have a great conversation. Thank you so much for joining me, Jay.
Jay (01:10):
Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Laura (01:12):
So in 20 years you grew a digital marketing agency from just a few thousand dollars to millions in sale. What for you has been the hardest part of that journey?
Jay (01:22):
Gosh, there's been plenty of hard parts along the way. I think learning to get out of the way has been really hard for me and creating space for other people to have opportunities realizing that, you know, a lot of the old adages of if you want to get it right, you got to do it yourself. Just aren't true. And I think me getting out of my own way and allowing other people to have the opportunity to thrive and fail ultimately is, has been kind of challenging for me over the years.
Laura (01:50):
Yeah. I personally find it hard to let other people fail. Like I'm a rescuer. I don't know if you ever struggled with that, but in scaling companies, I tend to like to swoop in and make sure that they're safe and they don't misstep. And you know, that they don't feel the impact of making a decision that might end up coming back to bite them.
Jay (02:10):
I struggle with that for sure. But I would say that, you know, I think one of my responsibilities as a CEO of this company is to create an opportunity where people have the opportunity to fail and just not fail catastrophically. I don't want anybody failing personally catastrophically. I don't want the company to fail catastrophically obviously, but I do think that creating a space where people it's okay to mess up and then learn from that and improve. I think that's a very valuable thing within a culture. And that that's kind of how we operate because I, I can't fix everything. You know, I don't have time and I don't want to, frankly, I used to, and now I'm at the point where I want other people to figure it out. It's easy to want to be the one who has all the answers. And number one, I don't have all the answers. And number two, I'm inhibiting the growth of my team by doing things like that.
Laura (02:55):
Yeah. I can totally see that. And it's something that I've definitely had to learn myself. Did you start out when you were in the early stages of creating an agency, were you the one doing all the doing like, were you the marketing expert that was also providing fulfillment?
Jay (03:10):
Yeah, absolutely. So in the early years, you know, I did all the things as a lot of people start out kind of as that technician role, if you will doing whatever it is that their business does, whether it's making cupcakes or building websites, mine just happened to be building websites. And so for years I did all that by myself. Then I eventually kind of hired contractors who helped with some of those things. And I eventually started hiring actual employees. And now I have a small team that is kind of in-house plus a large group of contractors that we use depending on what the needs are. So our internal team kind of fluctuates right now. We're about 15 people and it's a really great size. I actually really like where we're at now. We've been a little bigger, but it's just, it's big enough now that everybody can kind of have some areas that are carved out that they're really good at, but it also is still small enough that we can all have relationships, which is really nice.
Laura (04:00):
Yeah. That's really nice. I'm looking at the background behind you and I recognize it for those of you who are listening. It's a gorgeous background it's worth looking at on YouTube and there is your core values behind you. And one of them is family, and I know you have five kids. So what, what are some of the things that you've had to navigate and scaling that has been the most challenging when it comes to your family? Cause I feel like that's where, especially people who are very dedicated to their family, that's a lot of times where the rub happens.
Jay (04:29):
Yeah. I mean, when I started, I didn't have a family, I was a high schooler actually, when I started this business, I was 17. And so I didn't have any kids and eventually got married and then started having kids and things change. You know, I think in the entrepreneurial journey, there's different seasons of business and there's different seasons of life. And depending on how those things match up, it can create more or less tension. And you have to kind of figure out how to manage that within the season that you're in. And so, you know, now I'm at a place where the business runs really well without me. And I'm able to, and I still do plenty of work, but I'm able to free up space for me to work on what is my best and highest use as part of the team.
(05:10):
But also, you know, like last year I took thirty days off with my family and we toured the country in an RV or a month. I couldn't have done that 10 years ago. I'm going to just because we have the right systems and the right people and the right processes in place now to allow that. But it's been hard. I mean, I, you know, I've definitely been in places where, you know, the toughest criticism that I've gotten, you know, like from my wife, she said to me, you know, hey, I feel like you're here, but I don't really feel like you're here. And that's tough. Like, that's, that is not what you want to hear. That is not a healthy sign in a relationship, but it's normal that most people experience something like that. Then it's a question of what am I going to do about it?
(05:47):
Am I going to stay here in this place where my kids and my wife don't feel like I'm present, even though I'm physically home, or am I going to do something to change that? And I say, you know, I don't have that perfected, but I kind of go through seasons of it. And ultimately what it's come down to for me, especially with my wife, has been doing my best to over-communicate. You know, if I'm in the midst of a really busy project or season, or something's going on at work, I need to, I need to say that, you know, and not just assume that she knows, and she's very gracious to go, hey, I know you've got a lot going on. Why don't you stay a little late and sort that out. And then other days I'm going to be home at three o'clock and swimming in the pool with the kids. So I think it just depends on what's going on and really good communication, both with my wife and with our kids and intentionally carving out time. I use my calendar, not just for work, but for everything. So, you know, I will carve out time to do things with the family ahead of time and block my schedule so nobody else at work can take it. And I think that's really important to add a lot of value for me.
Laura (06:50):
Yeah, for sure. Have you ever felt that way about your faith too? That it was very much a moment where you realized that the carving out that time for God was hard as well scaling?
Jay (07:01):
Where my faith struggles is, is in the middle. It's in the mundane. I think when I'm, when I'm really struggling, it's really easy for me to like cry out to God and go, Hey, I need some help here but also realizing, I don't think, I don't believe that God's a genie in a bottle either. That's just out answering my requests. And then on the other end, I also find it very easy when I'm really doing well to thank God for those things. I think it's when it, when it gets just muddy in the middle where I kind of can lose sight of those things, but, but somebody gave me an analogy for this one time that I thought was really important and adds a lot of value for me is instead of thinking of my faith or even my relationship with God as an item on my schedule, think of it as the paper on which the schedule is written.
(07:43):
So everything is encompassed in that faith. And in that relationship with God, not just whatever my carved out devotional time might be, or my, you know, going to church on Sundays or, you know, like tonight my kids have youth group and I'm going to go, it's like a parent open house. I'm going to go to that. One of my sons leads worship on Wednesday for the youth. And so that those are carved out events, but for me, faith and my relationship with God are really more of like the paper that life has written on versus an entry on the paper.
Laura (08:13):
Yeah. That's interesting that you say that because I've been thinking about that myself recently, I was in a really good morning devotional routine and then the third baby came during a pandemic and it was like, it's really difficult to keep that structure. And I've been trying to think about it more fluid.
Jay (08:31):
And I think that's really important to think about things like that fluidly, because especially in the entrepreneurial or CEO spaces it's easy to like read a book and, or, or watch somebody on their Instagram and think, Oh, well, that's how they do it. That's how I have to do it. Like, you know, you see all these like gurus all the time talking about their morning routines. And I think I've tried all of them and I've gotten to the point where I'm like, that's just not for me. Like it is, I have, I've gotten the point where I go, it's okay for me to get up, like check my social media, get a shower and go to work. But that is an okay thing to do if that's what is best for me in this season of life, that's okay. But, but if that's causing problems, if it's making me stressed out or it's costing me a relationship with my wife where my kids now I have something I have to fix, but I don't have to, you know, wake up at four 30, like Brendan Bouchard and like do all of these massive checklist items in order to be successful.
(09:26):
And I think it's, especially when you have kids like the third kid's heart, I would say the third one, it's kind of like going from man to man defense, to zone defense because you're outnumbered, you know, and, and there's just too many of them. And so trying to figure that out, every child has a different personality. Every season of life is different and you can't compare yourself, you know, to somebody else. A lot of the people that I kind of follow as, you know, mentors or leaders, people like Michael Hyatt or Dave Ramsey, or Donald Miller, those guys are all in very different seasons of their life. You know, like Michael Hyatt has got five children, but they're five grown children. And matter of fact, his oldest daughter just became the CEO of his company. I mean, he's in a different place with him and his wife than I am with mine you know, in our kids and everything else. And I can't expect that I'm going to be able to mirror where he is. And I think, you know, that's the same, like in your situation, we have new baby, like you got to adjust and that's okay. You know, and I think a lot of times people think if I'm not doing all these things, I'm not doing it. Right.
Laura (10:29):
Yeah. It's so funny that you say that this is such a great conversation. I think for people who are in the midst of either trying to get their lives back on track, post pandemic, or just still navigating so many of the challenges that comes from working parents and scaling CEO's. I am in the process of launching right now at the time of this recording. And it is, it's a challenge to try to balance everything. And it's funny that you say some of these leaders that either, you know, they're not in a season where they're in the weeds with their family. And I was looking at Michael Hyatt's planner, which I have on my desk right now and looking at the weekend pages. And I was like rest? Like, I don’t know Brendon Burchard that well, but I'm assuming he's probably not nursing a baby at 5:30 in the morning.
(11:12):
So I think really what I hear you saying, which I think is so valuable, which is to not only give yourself grace in the season, but be flexible of when your priorities show up throughout the day. So it may be for me that I used to be able to spend 45 minutes journaling and reading scripture. And now it's a matter of walking the dog and talking to God, or folding laundry and talking to God or, and not being so worried about. And I think for so many of us high-achieving entrepreneurs who are scaling it is can, can very much feel like we're not doing what we're supposed to be doing. Get the gold star, right. To get the a, because we are high achievers. So you have a book called building a business that lasts, but what inspired you to write that book? And what are some of the things that are the main takeaways that you really hope people will have when they read that?
Jay (12:10):
You know, it's interesting. The book itself is one of those things where I wasn't sure if I had what it took to write a book. I wasn't sure if I was ready, I've heard people say like, you should write a book yourself. And I'm like, eh, that sounds like a lot of work. And eventually, you know, I was actually at a conference. I was listening to the Simon Sinek talk and, and I don't remember exactly what he said, but I remember just thinking, like, I just need to do the thing that I thought about doing, which was write a book and create a podcast, which both were by the same title. And I just wanted to share ideas with other entrepreneurs. I think what had happened with our agency is that it had gotten to a point where we were, we had grown a lot, which is great, but we also had increased our prices a lot, which is also great, but what it meant was there were a lot of people that I couldn't necessarily serve or help anymore.
(12:53):
And I felt like with the book, it gave me an opportunity to speak into the lives of people who might not be ready to jump into the agency side yet they don't have a, you know, $60,000, $150,000 a year annual marketing budget to spend with the agency. But I could still give them some ideas in a $20 book. And I wanted to help those people. I also think there's value in writing, like there's value in writing your own ideas. Sometimes I find myself doing things that are contrary to my own advice, and I think, oh man, I'm T I'm preaching this, but I'm doing this. Maybe I should, uh, adjust what I'm doing even a few minutes ago. When we were talking about this idea of like adjusting things to fit your season and fit your life. One of the chapters in the book is called ignore the system, but have a system.
(13:37):
And the idea behind that is essentially, you know, you don't have to do things like everybody else, or like whoever you follow, just because they're doing it. Like there are a lot of ways to be successful and success to me might be something very different than success to you or to someone else. And that's okay. You know, and I think my goal in writing the book was to create a vision for people that they go, you know what? I can have a great marriage and raise awesome kids and run a successful scaling, thriving business that's very profitable all at the same time. And I think that culture kind of dictates this idea. If you're not hustling 24/7 and ignoring everybody else in the process, then you're not growing well enough, that's garbage. And could I have grown more and faster if all I did was focus on business? Sure. But that's not my desire or my intent or my vision for life. And I think it's okay for people to figure out what theirs needs to be. You know, you figure out your own life, plan, your own future, your own passions. What do you want things to look like in 10 years and what needs to be true today in order for that to be true then
Laura (14:48):
Do you think that this is particularly difficult for faith-based people to accept the idea that they can scale a business and still be quote unquote, a good Christian?
Jay (15:01):
I think that that is particularly hard necessarily. The thing I think that some people in faith-based communities might struggle with is, is the idea of like extreme profit. It's almost like a guilt. I think in some communities of like, I shouldn't be that profitable. I shouldn't make that much money, but I love how Dave Ramsey thinks of this, which is basically you can't be ridiculously extremely, you know, generous unless you are ridiculously extremely successful. I remember hearing a story one time of a guy who used to work for Tony Robbins and he was with him on a trip and they were touring an orphanage or something in a third world country. And this was not documented. It wasn't publicized. The only reason this guy knew is because he was standing right next to Tony when it happened. And Tony asked the director of the orphanage, Hey, what does it cost to run this orphanage for a year? And, and he said it's about $150,000 is our annual salary. And he said, Hey, I'd like to write a check to cover the next year. Well, you got to make a lot of money. If you're gonna be able to write $150,000 check to cover an orphanage for a year. And so I think in faith-based communities, the idea of profit can sometimes seem like a dirty word, but while when you're ridiculously profitable, you can be ridiculously generous. And that idea is very exciting to me.
Laura (16:13):
Yeah, it is very exciting. I think probably just so many people when they think about it that way. So thank you for sharing that. And in one word, what is the secret to growing your business without sacrificing your sanity?
Jay (16:23):
One word, gosh, perseverance, you know, I mean, you have to be willing to, to know that you're going to mess up, you're going to fail. You're going to fall and then you can keep going. Like you just gotta get back up and, and have the right people around you. So I'd say perseverance. If I had to pick one word.
Laura (16:39):
Where can people find you if they want to connect with you more?
Jay (16:42):
The best place to find me in general is my personal website, which is jayowenlive.com. That's J A Y O W E N live.com. All my links to whatever social media account you want, my book, my podcast workshops, everything is right there. So jayownelive.com is the best place to get me.
Laura (17:00):
All right. Thanks Jay, for joining us. I really appreciate it.
Jay (17:03):
Thanks for having me!
Laura (17:07):
Hey there: before you head out, I want to let you know about a free new training I have right on a brand new website called yournextmillion.me. It's yournextmillion.me, where several of my seven figure clients and colleagues share what they're doing in the next year to scale their businesses, to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond. And I have to tell you, it is not what you think. So check it out at yournextmillion.me. And if you loved this show, will you subscribe to it and share it with a friend or just say something nice about it to someone, you know? I’d really appreciate it so much. Thanks so much for being here and I'll see you next time.
The Scale with Joy podcast dives into the mindset and strategies of scaling your company to the million dollar mark and beyond. Each week, we follow the journeys of innovators, disruptors, experts and leaders - sharing behind the scenes stories of their most challenging moments and greatest lessons learned-all while building their multi-million dollar empires.