#59: Rethinking Your Relationship with Money with Hilary Hendershott, Founder of Hendershott Wealth Management LLC
What is your relationship with money?
Did you grow up hearing it doesn’t grow on trees or that all debt is bad?
Today’s guest, Hilary Hendershott, Founder of Hendershott Wealth Management LLC, turned her unhealthy relationship with money into a business to help others make the most of their money.
On today’s episode, Hilary and I discuss:
What the money operating system is and how it affects us all
What’s stopping you from the wealth you desire
How to plan for lifes “oh no” moments
In this interview, Hilary shared her raw story about how she got out of over $600,000 in debt - be sure to tune in!
Learn more about Hilary here: https://hilaryhendershott.com or on Instagram @hilary.hendershott.
Check out my new free new training on www.yournextmillion.me, where several of my seven figure clients and colleagues share what they're doing in the next year to scale their businesses to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond.
Listen to the Show:
Laura (00:03):
So here's the challenge: so many entrepreneurs dream of leading a life of impact by creating a multimillion dollar brand, but only a tiny percentage of businesses actually scale to that point. On this podcast, we speak openly authentically about what it takes to scale your business. Following the journeys of innovators, disruptors, experts, and leaders, looking at the behind the scenes of their most challenging moments and greatest lessons learned. My name is Laura Meyer and I'm your host. I'm a serial entrepreneur, wife and mom to three. I love talking all things business, especially digging into the mindset and strategies of scaling joyfully to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond. Let's go!
(00:49):
Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Scale with Joy show. I'm here with Hillary Hendershott and she's going to be talking all about finance and wealth and creating abundance within your business and your life. Welcome Hillary. It's so good to have you here.
Hilary (01:04):
Thank you so much for having me.
Laura (01:05):
Yeah. So you are the founder of your own wealth management company. You're in Silicon Valley. What is that like? What is your day to day like right now?
Hilary (01:16):
So we're not doing in-person appointments, usually I'm in the office with clients about half the time, but you know, I think it's business as usual for the most part, when you can imagine Silicon Valley has migrated easily to remote life and work, right? And so we are having zoom meetings with clients and I'm also running my wealth coaching program right now. So we have office hours and masterminds that we're hosting.
Laura (01:42):
That's so cool. And you don't typically hear that from people who are in wealth management, then you usually very structured and they fit into a box and they sell a certain type of product line. But I know part of your story is that you pulled yourself out of $600,000 in debt, which is an incredible, and you built a multiple seven figure net worth, like how did, how did that happen?
Hilary (02:01):
Thanks for noticing the differentiation. I think of our firm is very different from your out of the box, my father's financial planner kind of thing. And it really comes from, you know, many years ago I was a certified financial planner. So I'm in advising multi-millionaires how to build investment portfolios during the day. And at night I would come home to a stack of bills that I wouldn't open because I couldn't pay them. I was a massive over spender. Yeah. I really just money burned a hole in my pocket. From the very beginning, I had all kinds of strongly held beliefs about the nature of money and who I was in the world and what that meant about what kind of money I could ever earn or have, or keep. And what I distinguished after I finally decided to pull myself up by my bootstraps and figure this money thing out is that those strongly held beliefs, rod, no tangible reality to them. There's stuff that I made up as a kid. And then as an adolescent and a young adult, I made up more beliefs to go with the core belief that I made up when I was, I don’t know, eight years old, right. And we all have that kind of money theme in our life. I call that the money operating system. And so I, at some point along my journey, because I just watched my money mushroom in my life.
(03:17):
Once I had turned things around and I got things moving in the right direction, it was like, it was all I could do to close the door. I had to work to close the door to money is what I want to say, because it just came rushing at me. It was a massively different experience than before when money would come into my bank account. And you would have loved to have been my friend. I would've bought you things take you out to dinner for cocktails. Let's go on a trip. And that was me cause I was trying to spend money to prove to people that I had worth. Right. It was like, it was a very, it was a very destructive cycle.
Laura (03:54):
So w was that low point when you were in that much debt, when you realized that you needed to change your belief system and start going in a different direction, was there a certain like pivotal moment when that happened?
Hilary (04:07):
Yeah, I'd been living on credit cards. I was the, during the liquidity crisis and I was working part-time in mortgage, which is a commission only gig. So my income had gone way down and I had very little money in my bank account. So credit cards were how I was living and I pulled this leased BMW, convertible three 30 CIO was a beautiful car and it was very, I paid a very high monthly rate to borrow it from the credit union. And I pulled it into the gas station and all three of my credit cards declined. And at that point, you know, my FICO score because of late payments had fallen. My bank account was basically empty. And so I was literally, that was the end of the line. I had to walk home from the gas station. I was pretty embarrassed. I had some very deep feelings of, of lack of worth. Right. And that's part of it. That's part of how it gets wrapped. We get wrapped around the pole with money and, uh, you know, I just felt super ashamed. I have a degree in economics. I have a highly adequate math brain. I'm no math genius, but I can hold my own in any, in any course.
Laura (05:13):
If you can hold your own in Silicon Valley, I would say that that's probably above average.
Hilary (05:17):
Well, I'm no software engineer, so I don't even try to play in that realm. But when it comes to math, I'm all right. I do. All right. And so it's, it was not an arithmetic problem. And the reason I had specific about saying that is because a lot of people, women, especially I hear say, oh, I'm just not good at math. I'm not good with numbers. So they sort of hand wave the whole money thing. And it, and you know, I'm here to tell you that even people who are good at math sometimes really blow it when it comes to money. And so I just literally said to myself that I said, look, okay, whatever I'm doing this isn't working. And it became very clear to me. I looked out into my own future and it was very clear that all was in my future in the area of money was more better, different versions of the same.
(06:02):
I had financial emergencies, I was embarrassed. I paid too much interest. I had fines. I didn't want to pay. Right. And I just said, what am I doing? This is nuts. This is not the life I would design. So I just decided to become an expert on money psychology. And I said, obviously it's not a math problem. It has to be a behavior problem. And behavior comes from psychology. So I started reading what the neuropsychologists already know about the criticalness and contextual nature of our relationship to money and what we say and believe about money. And I really just got that when I was eight years old, my mom was a good saver. She didn't want to spend on the things I wanted her to spend on. I decided there was never enough money. Right. I had to wear generic high-tops. I was the center of the high school basketball team.
(06:50):
And I thought I wanted Nike's and I got pro wings from Payless Shoe Source right. And so for me, she had no interest in paying for brand name stuff, but I was all about it. And so for me, there was never enough money. And then the really insidious thing about that is to prove that there's never enough money whenever you get money. By the way, my grandmother wrote me a $7,000 check. When I was, I think, 18, 19 years old, I spent that within, I don't know, 18 months. I mean, I had to spend money. I, I, it was all there was to do to me. The only thing there was to do with money is get rid of it so that I could prove there's never enough money. It was just crazy-making until I saw it for what it was. And you know, that that money operating system, there's never enough money.
(07:37):
It's a very common one. My hypothesis is 75% of us have that one. It's just very common. The other ones are the kinds of things superstitions you've heard about money, money doesn't grow on trees. Money's the root of all evil. You have to work hard for money. There's also like money is money is just a resource. There's also, there's always enough money, right? And, and interestingly people who believe that there's always enough money. They're not always right. They just have this sublime belief about it. And they do tend to have a continuous stream of it, but they often don't save enough because they just have this irrational belief that there's always enough money. So your money operating system is almost never correlated to reality. And that's the cool thing is that you can change it.
Laura (08:22):
Yeah. I'm so glad you said that because sometimes you talk to individuals who will have this belief of, well, there's always enough money and I live in abundance and you're like, and there's a PNL. Like there's a thing called a PNL that we want to be paying attention to. So what, just for anybody who's listening, who's like, this sounds amazing. But like since most people probably come from a belief system that does not serve them into adulthood, when it comes to thoughts about money, what are, what maybe a couple practical things that listeners could do if they're listening right now and they're thinking, wow, I'm awareness around this. This is definitely me. Like what, what are some of the things they could do
Hilary (09:07):
I like to impact people in two realms. First is the mindset and beliefs. But of course, that's not enough. You just impact your mindset. It's not going to turn into money. I hate to break it to you. So you're right as to the P and L you have to deal with the reality of money. So I'll give you two things. First is I would take an inventory of the things that you say and believe about money might take you a while because it's like the water that you swim in and the air you breathe. And sometimes you only notice it inside a money conversation. So for example, I, I have a client in my coaching program right now who said, I just can't come up with anything that I say or believe about money, Hillary. I just can't, I don't think about money. And then he was watching a video of self-proclaimed seven figure entrepreneurs talking about their wealth.
(09:50):
And he said, I noticed how far I felt away from them, how I felt like that's great for you, but I'm never going to get there. That'll never be me. And he got it though. And so, you know, he started journaling about how he had decided he was never going to be rich. And of course his life manifests fat, right? He spends most of what he has. So that's the first thing is taken inventory of what you say and believe about money. And then the second thing is to really create a plan for your, especially your business finances. You don't have to know all of your bookkeeping to be a successful entrepreneur, but you need to know your key performance indicators. You need to know the inputs that create results, and you need to know profitability and you need to know your revenue, and you need to know what you need to not be budgeting by bank account balance. Right? Yeah. So one of the things we always do is I love the profit first system. You know, when revenue comes in, save your profit and save your taxes. Even that simple action will put you so far ahead.
Laura (10:50):
Yeah. So does that relate to how you recommend that entrepreneurs might plan for an emergency or an oh poop, a moment in case anybody has their kids in the car? Like, is there anything that you would do above and beyond just being intentional about what's coming in and how you allocate it? Is there any other strategies that you like to recommend?
Hilary (11:11):
Yeah. I mean, it's actually more specific than that. We give our clients and I do recommend and talk about on my podcast, a what I call automation system. So money flows in through your bank accounts, and you want to be bucketing for taxes and bucketing for profits. You can bucket for any number of things, but, you know, let's not get too complicated, but then you need to be paying yourself a regular income. Most entrepreneurs don't pay themselves or don't pay themselves enough. Okay. And then you absolutely have to know as an individual human being, or if you're with a partner, a romantic partner, who's also a financial partner, by the way, what is your, your, your monthly nut? You have to know what does that number? We have to make the mortgage, the insurance, the kids' schools, whatever that is the needs. And then you need to be clear what your wants are.
(11:59):
We need this number to have a good life. And so, as you see something surprising happened in your business, you can say with rationality, Oh, okay. I can see that the numbers are half of what they were last month, but I also know that I spend well below what I make. So I'm actually going to be fine because the minute you're in that fight flight or fight response, which financial emergencies cause, your decision-making is significantly impacted, right? So it's a form of the form of financial self-care as an entrepreneur to know your numbers. And we create the automation system is like, I use the metaphor of an irrigation system in your garden. So little, little hoses that bring the flow of money to all the flowers, where you want to plant them and have them grow. And that's your bills, your wants your needs, your savings, and the people that you need to pay if you have employees. Right. And if you know that that's taken care of, then you can strategize and think long-term,
Laura (12:55):
I love that you're saying this. And it's so interesting how so many entrepreneurs, profitable ones, well-known ones, people that many listeners probably aspire to be like, don't actually keep track of this stuff. And so what do you think that it's so hard, particularly for women? Why do you think it's so hard for them to have the wealth that they desire?
Hilary (13:22):
I think this is that it's the old one, two punch. And so I'll say, I do think that there is a history of female oppression in the world. And that part of that, of course, if you're an autonomous person who can make your own choices and author your own life, you have control over your money. And so it had to get created that women didn't have control over their money. And of course, unfortunately we, we, many of us bought in, and so there's like this self-perpetuation of that and inside that is the idea that being emancipated or empowered financially is not feminine. So you hear women talk about what, well, if I make more than him will, and, you know, I realized that people partner with all genders, but let's just talk about the traditional kind of male female relationship. If I make more money than him, you know, will he find that sexy?
(14:15):
Will he be emasculated by that? Right. And so there's, this, there's just this massive fear. And then of course there were many years where people firmly believe that men were fundamentally better at math than women, which is not born out by the data at all, by the way. Yeah. It's totally debunked, not true in the least, but it is a strongly held belief that kind of persists. And I think women hide behind it. I mean, just for, as an example, I, in my, in my practice, I, in the coaching program, I have the good fortune of people sharing with me vulnerably about their lives. And oftentimes you hear women say that when they were growing up, what their dad said to them about money was, don't worry about it, honey. Just don't worry about it. You shouldn't have to worry about that. Do you ever hear about a mom saying that to her son?
Laura (15:06):
No. I have two. I have two sons and I'm always like, all right, so that's going in the money jar and how we divide out the money jar is you give this much, you keep this much and you can spend this much. And you're going to need to know this in 10 years that.
Hilary (15:20):
You've never heard your male friends say, my mom said to me back in the day, you know, don't worry about money. No, it was expected that men be able to handle money. So, you know, these kinds of social and historical forces are something that I talk about a lot and that I'm really committed to really frankly dissolving. And, and how you do that, I think is you set about to make women rich. So that's what I'm interested in do. That's what my messaging is all about. And so what we do in the wealth management business and in the coaching program, and it's something that's very meaningful to have taken myself from a to Z or a negative 600 to positive seven figures.
(15:57):
And to be in a position where I can say, you know, I work because I want to, it's fulfilling for me. Um, and this is not only profitable, but it's good work. I feel like I'm leaving the planet a better place.
Laura (16:09):
I think you are too. I think you're doing a phenomenal job and I love what you're saying about women and just some different beliefs and thoughts that I had never even thought of before this podcast interview. So you doing incredible work. W if you were to summarize the process of scaling to the seven figure Mark in one word, what comes to mind for you?
Hilary (16:29):
Focus and that's focusing on profitable stuff, right. And leaving the other stuff, or either to not get done or for someone else.
Laura (16:39):
All right. So good. And then if people want to connect with you, they want to learn more about your financial services firm, where can they find you?
Hilary (16:47):
Thank you so much. So if you have room in your podcast lineup, check me out on profit boss radio, anywhere you download podcasts. And then you can find out about everything I do hilaryhendershott.com. That's Hilary with one L and Hendershott with two T's. And you can, the course is currently called the wealth multiplier. And, uh, we are, we might be changing the name, but it will always be hilaryhendershott.com.
Laura (17:11):
Wonderful. Thank you, Hilary, for joining us. I really appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome.
Hilary (17:19):
Hey there, before you head out, I want to let you know about a free new training I have right on a brand new website called yournextmillion.me. It's yournextmillion.me, where several of my seven figure clients and colleagues share what they're doing in the next year to scale their businesses to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond. And I have to tell you, it is not what you think. So check it out at yournextmillion.me. And if you loved this show, will you subscribe to it and share it with a friend or just say something nice about it to someone, you know? I’d really appreciate it so much. Thanks so much for being here and I'll see you next time.
The Scale with Joy podcast dives into the mindset and strategies of scaling your company to the million dollar mark and beyond. Each week, we follow the journeys of innovators, disruptors, experts and leaders - sharing behind the scenes stories of their most challenging moments and greatest lessons learned-all while building their multi-million dollar empires.