#50: How to Heal Entrepreneurial Trauma with Mia Hewett, Founder of Aligned Intelligence
Did you know that your childhood trauma can play a large role in your entrepreneurial journey?
It can affect how you think, act, and perceive yourself - setting you up for success, or holding you back from it.
My guest this week, Mia Hewett, Founder of Aligned Intelligence, shares how to heal entrepreneurial trauma.
Mia also shares:
What to do if you think your own trauma is affecting you.
How she deals with Facebook trolls.
The two universal laws everyone should know.
Make sure to tune into this episode to hear Mia’s own personal story about her childhood trauma, how it affected her and what she did to rise above.
Learn more about Mia here: https://www.miahewett.com or check out her book: http://miameantformorebook.com (Password: Free book)
Check out my new free new training on www.yournextmillion.me, where several of my seven figure clients and colleagues share what they're doing in the next year to scale their businesses to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond.
Listen to the Show:
Laura (00:03):
So here's the challenge: so many entrepreneurs dream of leading a life of impact by creating a multimillion dollar brand, but only a tiny percentage of businesses actually scale to that point. On this podcast, we speak openly authentically about what it takes to scale your business, following the journeys of innovators, disruptors, experts, and leaders, looking at the behind the scenes of their most challenging moments and greatest lessons learned. My name is Laura Meyer and I'm your host. I'm a serial entrepreneur, wife and mom to three. I love talking all things business, especially digging into the mindset and strategies of scaling joyfully to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond. Let's go!
(00:41):
Hey everybody. Welcome back. So I want to introduce you to Mia Hewitt. She is the founder of Aligned Intelligence, and we're gonna find out some really fun things about how we can align our intelligence with actually scaling a business the six and seven figure mark and beyond. So welcome Mia. Thanks for being here.
Mia (01:08):
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. It's great to be here with you.
Laura (01:11):
Yeah. And I know you had mentioned that you have been entrepreneur for a really long time, and I think that there is a certain level of wisdom and just overall contribution that takes place when you, when you've really been there, done that when it comes to entrepreneurship. So what, what really brought you to today with your current company of Aligned Intelligence?
Mia (01:34):
Oh, that's such a great question. Well, like, you know, from being entrepreneurial long time as well, it is the greatest vehicle to really face yourself, right? Like, I don't know any other vehicle that has you really look at the parts of yourself in so many different ways. So how I got to this point is when I, when I was about five years old, I was playing in my room and I heard my father calling me. And I remember like getting a pit in my stomach, like feeling really anxious and nervous. Like why is he calling me? Because of all the people in my family that I, that I was afraid of the most, it was my father, because I could never tell what was going to set him off. Like he, he could be the funniest man or like on an instant go off on something.
(02:23):
So I always felt like I had to walk around on eggshells. And so I remember feeling that way, that this day around five years old and inside of that, I remember him saying to me, I want to, I want to go outside. I want you to go outside with me. And I remember feeling in that moment, like, wow, like he actually wants to spend time with me because my older sister was like the son he never had, she was like the tomboy. And I was the real shy, girly girl kind of girl. And so I remember thinking, oh my gosh, he wants to spend time with me. And so we go outside and he says to him, we lived on a farm at the time. And he was like, which one is your favorite chicken? And I remember like going, oh, that's so easy.
(03:03):
Like, it's always the one I always played with. Right. And so I call it, I used to call her Henny Penny and I was like, Oh, that one. And so he was like, okay, well, that's the one we're going to kill today. Now the fascinating thing is inside of that, in that moment, my mind spun out of control. I became very, very, very confused. As so many thoughts were trying to come into my mind and so that I could stop what was going to happen. And inside of that, I remember inside of me freezing and going blank. That day And that experience my whole life like changed forever. And so that day I learned like, people don't mean what they say, the world isn't a safe place and you really can't rely or trust anyone, not even your father. Inside that, I vowed that day in that moment that I would never allow that to happen again. So I built these walls up around me. Wouldn't let anyone in for like years and even decades. And so why am I saying this? Like, what does this have to do with entrepreneurship?
(04:13):
Right. Like everything. And so I always liked that. What brought me here, to this point is I was, I became very successful in my first business, you know, because I was so determined never to be poor. Again, we grew up poor that I did it all through burnout. The first one was all through burnout. The second, you know one that I've done now that I've built to a million dollars, I do it from flow and ease. And the interesting thing and why I think this is so important. What brought me here is when I was doing it through the first time I sought out mentors, I went to therapy. I tried everything to find out how is it? Could I be so successful, but yet felt internally like a failure. Wow. Like I just, I never felt adequate. And I wanted to find the missing piece. And what, why is that possible? Cause I always thought as a child, if I could just become wealthy, I wouldn't be poor any more than I'd arrive and, and so forth.
(05:14):
So I always like to say to people consider that we are all just wounded children walking around in adult bodies and that our prospects and customers are all just wounded children walking around in adult bodies. And so when we can feel that, like if that were true and we could consider that, that that's possible, the most common reasons that I see that people fail, fail to introduce themselves or bring an idea or product service to the market or go after their dreams is because they're so fearful of the rejection or the judgment that they might receive.
Laura (05:51):
Yeah. And then somebody who on the receiving end of that offer might have their own, let's just call it baggage or subconscious thought that validates their self-conscious thought and we end up just walking around, bumping into each other, but never actually getting to where we want to be. Okay. So this makes a lot of sense. And where does this like, show up? So let's say somebody scaling to the six figure, mark seven figure mark and beyond. Give me some examples of the types of things that people might not even realize that they're doing that is keeping them from the level of business success that they really want.
Mia (06:26):
Oh my gosh. Yes. It shows up in so many areas, right? Like inside of feeling like life is like out to get them, the glasses, half empty feeling like they, like, you know, it's only for other people feeling like they can't talk to any, everybody. Like they still feel awkward. Right. They're talking like not being seen, not showing up feeling awkward. It's, you know, that must be for other people. Like other people have something. Right. But they don't. So they're always holding themselves back all the time. Like I see this all the time and being held back, thinking that like, for like, for myself, like I I'm going to share, you know, personally I, before I healed this, that was really stopping me. And that's why I'm a business coach that heals trauma. Before I stopped this that's was stopping me from showing up and being seen, not trusting anyone.
(07:25):
I was so afraid to be seen to come on camera, to do a talk. My legs would shake Like convulsively like they would literally like, yeah. Yeah. Like it was really traumatic. Like I would have experienced an incredible trauma happening. In fact, when I remember like working my way through this, I remember I started in Toastmasters and I didn't know why it would happen, but I was just like, so like, I I'm going to die if I don't get this to work. And if I don't put food, like if I don't create this to happen, it's not going to happen. So I was so determined to make it happen. That back then, when I didn't understand what was going on with me, I would go and give a talk and I would warn them ahead of time. Look my feet or my, like, I'm going to start shaking.
(08:12):
I'm okay. Just don't worry about it. Like, I was just like preparing the C like, just let me work through it. And you know, it would stop. But, and then of course the more I did it, the eventually it just went away. But now I understand why it happened, which is why I love that piece too. But this is how it shows up. It'll show up in not being able to be seen, not, not talking, like being afraid of conversations. Like certain people that reminded me, like my father back then anyone that was like, very, like, you felt like you had to walk on eggshells around them as a client, literally throw me into a confusion state. I would go, I would start spinning again. I would, I become the dumbest person in the room. Like I make out good sentences, like so bad. I know it's crazy, isn't it?
Laura (09:01):
So this would be an indication it's might be a blind spot for somebody might have something stuck or something that's coming up in their history. And you know, you're the perfect person to ask this. And I've been wondering this for a long time. Do you think that entrepreneurs are sometimes drawn to entrepreneurship to fix something in their past or make up for something or to prove something selves that entrepreneurship ultimately can't do?
Mia (09:31):
Yes, absolutely. Like it is. And I'm not saying that they're even consciously aware of it because it wasn't like, it's a conscious thing. Right. So I want to say this. So when we are children, you know, we're like little video cameras, right? So we go around and we, we just take everything we see. And then whatever someone says to us, we internalize it as truth, even if it's not right. So it just goes into the subconscious, which is the emotional, the, you know, side of ourselves, the emotional mind, if you will. And the reason I like to say that is because we can't think greater than how we feel. Right. We can't think greater than how we feel. So where, where we're getting stopped, where we will often, like, what stops us emotionally for all people is our emotions. It's not logical, right.
(10:26):
Emotional that comes up. But because we don't know why that's happening, it can feel so frustrating and irritating. Like I remember feeling just so completely, like, what is wrong with you? Get it together, like get it together. Because like my conscious mind would know logically, this doesn't make sense. Like, I should totally be, I know I'm capable of doing this. Like, what are you talking about? You know, I've, I've made this much money. I built this thing, but why am I still flailing? Like, why do I still feel this way? Right. So it will feel like we'll feel caught between our logical minds of knowing, of course we can. We know we're meant for more, but emotionally not feeling like we're able to go there.
Laura (11:09):
So interesting. So I am growing a business and I am showing up for a meeting and the person that I'm meeting with, or I am surrounded by, or I receive an email that triggers something that I think might have to do with my past. Like, I think maybe it has to do with the way my parents treated me or that bully when I was a kid or something like what you went through, but what do I do? Like, what do I do it?
Mia (11:37):
I love that question so much. So it's that everything, anytime you feel triggered, like what I love, what you're saying so much is because every single uncomfortable emotion like that one, a person is experiencing every single one is literally like ease inside of the doorway to our greatest transformation. Right? Like it is, it's the, the where the blind spot is where the gift is on the other side of that discomfort or that disliked emotion where whatever's coming up. That's right. Where it is, because you're exactly spot on every single thing that triggers us. This is the most fascinating thing. But this is what I've found that, that they don't understand is happening. Right? So like, for instance, let's say so every single human being, even though we're all in the same world, we're all on our own if you will lifeline, meaning we're having our own experiences, our own you know, like perception of reality.
(12:41):
So if this is a lifeline and when we're born, you know, from having, you know, now three beautiful children, when we're born, every baby is born whole perfect and complete, right? Like not one of them born with a self-esteem issue. And so then what happens is, and what I see is the most common is it's going to be around two years, years old, two to three, sometimes four, but a lot of twos, a lot of threes, fours, sometimes a few fives, but a lot earlier than that, definitely, you know, after seven, it's not, this is not it, but this is when the first trauma will happen. So the trauma will happen. So they'll go in, they're going along through life and you're going along through life, whole perfect and complete. And then you'll go into an experience. You didn't even know that could happen.
(13:33):
And it doesn't have to be like what mine looked like. It could be. I'm going to share a recent, one of a gentleman who I just supported in getting this completely free. His was when he was four years old. And so as an entrepreneur, he would make money and lose money, make money and lose money. Like he couldn't keep it.
Laura (13:53):
He didn't have the capacity to have.
Mia (13:56):
Right. And so when we went back and I looked at what his trauma, his, um, his trauma was when he was four years old, he had just come home from preschool and he ran in and he said, daddy, daddy, look, look, ice. I colored inside the lines. And his dad looked at the piece of paper and said, wow, I guess you don't have much of an imagination.
(14:19):
That was his drama. Like he made it mean, so that's why trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Right. It mean that they're like, he was so shocked, first of all, he was blindsided. Right. So every single time it will, we'll go into a situation and we will think, oh my gosh, how did that happen? Like I never saw that. I didn't even know that could happen and we'll experience an emotional trauma. And so that's when it happens in the emotions. Well, from that day, that's the day we created our ego. Okay. And so he started from that day forward. Our ego is a false self that we then become as a way to try to survive life, to have that never happen. Again, those are the walls that I put up and I was like, I vowed to have that never happened again.
(15:08):
And so I never really, before I understood this, I never really went all in on anything. Like I went all in on my business. I never went all in on my staff. I never went all in, in my, my ex-husband, you know, when I was married. I, and it wasn't that it was conscious to me. Right. Does that make sense? It was an, it was unconscious. I emotionally, I walled up and I never really went all in on anything until I uncovered and saw this, because what happens is from that day forward, then from that moment, where that truck, that trust got broken, we made a few decisions very, and they come very quickly and it doesn't matter that we're two, we still make them very quickly. And it's an emotional, it'll be inside of, there’s something wrong with me, right.
(16:00):
I'm not enough, or I'm not good enough, or there's something, something wrong with me. Other people we can't trust other people and the world is somehow like some version of not safe, um, or hard or something like this from that day forward. Right. So to answer your original question from that day forward, every negative experience that you will have will be a deeper, bigger version. Sometimes when they're bigger of the same trauma, it'll be the same pattern over and over and over again until we actually heal it. And then once we heal it, we kind of close that loop is what it feels like, where it just doesn't operate from, we're not operating from there anymore. So it's, it just becomes closed. And then when we, when we create, we're creating on purpose from wholeness, does that make sense?
Laura (16:56):
A ton of sense. I mean, as a business consultant, I see it all the time. part of what I do as a consultant is just keep people focused on what is working and not blow it up.
Mia (17:10):
It all the trauma it's every single one, every single person, the reason they blow it up is it's all connected to their original trauma and the reason, like, why would I ever know that, like I was, I mean, why would I I'm here? I am like, when I was really in the, in the midst of this, I was like in my like thirties or, or so late thirties and going, you know, I'm 52 now. So I was like, I'm in my late thirties going, you know, like this doesn't make any sense. And nobody was saying, nobody told me, oh, it's attached to your trauma because when you have whatever you experienced, you think, well, that's just normal. Right. Like, I don't know, in another, I don't know another perception of it.
Laura (17:54):
Right. So interesting. So what do you, what are some of the strategies that you like to rely on when it comes to healing this trauma? Like, I know some people really, prefer things like EMDR. Some people like talk therapy, there's all sorts of different methodologies out there. And I think sometimes it can be a little bit confusing to people.
Mia (18:16):
I think it's so confusing. In fact, we, I was just talking with my team about this, my chief copywriter. And I was saying to her, you know, we were just having this conversation because inside of the work that I do now that I've been doing this for quite some time now, and it's becoming popular now for a little catch words of about trauma, trauma, informed, you know, entrepreneurs and so forth. Interesting. Yeah. It's a very interesting thing because it only adds more to the confusion of when they, I get a lot of people who are like, but I, I went to healing. I did this, I did that. What is it that you could be doing differently? And it's, I don't do any of those things. I am, I invented my own methodology, my own technology.
(19:03):
It's called Aligned Intelligence and why it works versus like something else. But I've had people come through my course that say, oh my gosh, this is so incredibly incredible. And this is not you, you know what you're doing? And so here's the thing, I'm going to put it this way. Cause I think it's the simplest way for anyone to hear it. If you had never baked an Apple pie before, and you wanted to learn how to bake an Apple pie, you know, that apples is not enough to get a pie. Like having awareness is not enough to actually get the results. So awareness will never give us results in business just because we have an awareness of something. It's, that's just a concept, but to actually get the results, we have to actually have the experiences of it. Right? So to, to get the Apple pie or to really heal this trauma, we have to go from the being aware to then coming over on this side and being able to my methodology actually allows the individual. It teaches them to be able to self-coach so that they can actually overcome any obstacles. So they don't need me. I don't teach any kind of, I am not a martyr of any way. I don't, I don't want people to ever need me to do anything.
Laura (20:31):
I’m the same way. I want to teach you how to fish.
Mia (20:33):
I want to teach you how to fish. That's why we're entrepreneurs. Right.
Laura (20:37):
And I genuinely think that's the best thing that a leader can do for their organization. It's not to be dependent on anybody in particular, in order for their business to perform. Exactly.
Mia (20:48):
Exactly. So it's the same exactly where I'm coming from. So it allows them to be able to self-coach, to be able to know exactly how to separate the truth from the lie to really be able to see their own blind spots, be able to, to like all these pieces. So the culmination of what I do is every little piece of the ingredient is in my methodology. So it's, we heal the original trauma. We actually go back and heal that with them, support them in healing it, but it's not just that one thing. And it's our own methodology of doing that. It's not just that one thing it's then that we help them separate and understand themselves on everything that comes up as a trigger so that they sort themselves know how to sort themselves by themselves so that they build the muscle of it, that they can do that on repeat.
(21:41):
And that they literally then, from those new experiences will literally set themselves free. Like one of the women right now, am I, she says, oh my gosh. She says, not only do I no longer take anything personal, which is, was huge for this woman. Right? Because she had so many stories about everything. She was not only do I, not only not take anything personal, but I don't feel persecuted anymore, which is a huge thing, because what happens is, is the trauma, at her particular trauma was, and again, she never saw this connected right to everything that she was struggling as an entrepreneur was connected to when she was two years old, um, her dad took her into the bathroom and said, you know, I've got to go away and he was going to Vietnam, but she didn't understand what does that mean?
(22:31):
Right. I'm going to Vietnam. I'm going to go away for a while, but you're going to be okay, but I'm not going to see you for a very long time. And it was like to a two year old, you know, how long their attention, what's a long time. And so she, and she was playing and having a really great time before that incident happened. So she attached it. She made it mean that when things are really good, they're going to be taken away. Right. Yeah. So like, here we go. Right. Like just waiting, waiting, waiting for the shoe to drop.
Laura (23:05):
All right. So let's, let's for all the listeners common thing that can come up as an entrepreneur and you're going to coach on it. Is that cool?
Mia (23:16):
Yeah. Yeah. But it has to be like a real, if you can give me like, because it's going to only, it's going to make the most amount of sense. It'll be tied to your trauma. So like, if you can give me something like specifically that happens because it'll be easier than a concept. Cause you'll be able to feel it.
Laura (23:32):
It hasn't happened to me, but it's happened to my clients. Okay. Let's go with that one. So I'm running a Facebook ad. Yeah. And ads going really well. Yes. And somebody comes up and says something that chips at the worst fear about myself, or I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't look the part, whatever it is. Whatever the Judgment they feel as a result of their trauma actually pokes at it. You're not qualified. You're not good enough that has come up. And it's a very common, totally, um, attack on a high level business owner, because at least they have the guts to run an ad. Right. Right. The person who's commenting, doesn't have the guts to actually run an ad to the public and try to put their offer out there. And so, and then the person on the receiving end has to process that, how am I going to handle this? Does it look good or not good if I take it down? So this is a very common business issue. I think would, would benefit from your advice. I'm in that I'm in that position and you're my coach or you're teaching me, how do I deal with this so that I can sleep tonight?
Mia (24:50):
Absolutely. Absolutely. So the first thing is, and I'm going to support you, but the first thing is I want to give a little context to that. Yeah. So all, all judgment is a projection. Sure. Right. So all judgment is a projection. So whatever is being projected, whatever that judgment is that person that's doing the judging right as well, is being triggered by their own trauma. So then if I'm triggered by what they're saying, then it's going to hit my original core trauma. It's going to that, like, I'm not doing something right. Whatever the decision I made at mean in mine, it's like, what I have to say, doesn't matter. Like, cause I couldn't get them to stop. So it's like, it has to do with, if someone thinks like what I'm saying, doesn't matter. They don't have to agree with it. But if they're like, it doesn't matter or they like rule it out or dislike totally. Like won't let me speak, like right.
(25:48):
That'll be the trigger thing. So how, the first thing we have to see is that that's, what's really happening in this space. So two people are just literally co-creating off of their own perception of a trauma. Okay. So then the first thing I'm going to have you do is the person who is going to have them look and say, okay, so the first thing is we'd have to actually heal it, but we don't, we're not going to have time to heal someone because it's going to take them eight weeks. But I want to give you what to do in that moment. Okay? Okay. But I want to say that we normally heal this. Cause I don't have that running anymore. And people will say that on my ads, they'll say something and I'll show you what I do, but I'm going to tell you the exact same thing that I'm going to coach you inside of.
(26:27):
You know what I would tell you to do. All right. So let's say we've healed it, but it's, let's just say this. We haven't healed it for you. So then inside of that, the first thing you're going to do is you're going to pull back and you want to take a bird's eye view of it and go, okay, what am I making mean? So the person said X, okay know, what am I making that mean? Second thing is once you determine the meaning, because the meaning will be right there, right? Like I'm not doing it right. Or who am I to do this? Right. Whatever the means is. So you're going to write those down because those are the things that are the, the trigger. The second thing we want to do is now because you're triggered, it's always attached to the trauma, but what we want to see so that you can self-identify it and clear your own blind spots.
(27:13):
And you want, the first thing you want to do from that is from that meaning I'm doing it wrong or you know, not doing it right. What's the lie. And what's the truth. Okay. So now let's look at that. What is the lights I'm going to say? That was me, right? Because I was like, I used to have it that I didn't do. I'm not going to do it. Right, right. I'm going to do it wrong. And my voice doesn't matter. So then what am I making that mean? I'm making it mean that what they're saying is more important than how I feel or that I, that I, trust me, I'm making that mean. By thinking that what they're saying is the only way. Right? So what's the lie and what's the truth. So the lie is that the way I feel comes from the lie, is that the way I feel has anything to do with someone outside of me, that's a lie because I'm in charge of the way I feel based on the way I think my thoughts will then give me a natural feeling that matches that thought.
(28:13):
So I'm in control of actually what I'm choosing to focus on. What's the truth. The truth is that person is really in their own trauma. And in this moment I can choose to like really love them, to release them and understand that it doesn't have to be my trauma. So other, other people are not me. Like other people are not me. It's okay. I'm going to allow them the dignity of their own journey. And I'm not going to try to convince them, but other people are not me. So now what I would do inside of that, that's going to bring me back into power, right? I'm going to come back into alignment. I'm going to come back into power now from this power, this is what I do. And I recommend all my clients do because we run a lot of Facebook ads.
(29:03):
This is what I tell them to do. So from there now the next skill that I want to give you is the most important thing that you could ever do because when the person is triggered. They're in their ego. Yes. Okay. So that's the ego, right? Which is, it's not right or wrong, bad or good ego can look many ways, ego can look like if I hide his ego, that's inferiority ego. Or if I attack that superiority ego. So ego looks many different ways inside of, but none of it will be fulfilling. So what we want to do instead is now if it's extreme and abusive, you just ban the user, right? Because there's no way to, you know, but there are a lot of times, and this is why I say this to all my, all these people listening. This is so important.
(29:50):
If you inside of my ads, when you watch all of my clients, have I always tell them, go watch my ads, watch what I do, because there is huge value. If I told you how many people sign up to work with me, just from reading how I respond. That's so interesting. Okay. This is what I want to give everybody. That's listening to it. So here's how I do it. This is exactly my technique. This is exactly what I do. I, I'm definitely going to make sure I'm in alignment. So because I've cleared the meaning and I'm no longer, you know, inside of a trigger of any kind. The first thing I'm going to do is I'm going to acknowledge the person. It's the opposite of what you think, right? I'm going to say whatever they said. And when I say acknowledge, I'm going to use their words.
(30:31):
I'm not going to use my words because the one thing I want to really give your listeners is acknowledgement. Doesn't equal agreement. No, that's what I mean. It doesn't mean agreement. It doesn't mean, I'm saying you're a hundred percent. Right. And I'm wrong, but I'm going to acknowledge you because though that PR that, that perception, whatever their experience is, is real for them, even if it's not true. Right. So I often say, so I'm going to acknowledge the person. Wow. Thank you so much. So-and-so for sharing your thoughts and opinions with me because their thoughts and opinions, right? Yeah. They're just thoughts and opinions. Thank you so much. So-and-so for sharing your thoughts and opinions with me, um, you know, consider the way that I, you know, what I was meaning inside of this, I'd love for you to consider that it was actually looking this way at it.
(31:25):
And you know, I'm totally happy, you know, with the way that you're expressing it. I wish you so much love and blessings, you know, like I don't give it any more credence. Yeah. I acknowledge it. And then I bridge it to what, what my perception, like how it is that I saw it or what it is that I wanted to most communicate. And then I thank them so much again and, you know, wish them many, you know, cause I really do mean love them to release them. Like I just wish the many blessings and much love. And I will tell you that I would say out of a hundred, right? Like maybe a point, not like one, a half of percent will come back and then try something else. Most of the time, it just completely deflates the ego a hundred percent.
(32:18):
They don't have anything else they can say, which is why it works brilliantly. And it really then shows all of the other people how, wow. Like if she can be like that with that person, then what does she really like to work with? Which I really feel that there's just too many high-end coaches that can go to shame and guilt behind the scenes. Interesting. I am not one of those. And I did, and I feel like if I would've known more ahead of time of certain coaches that I worked with, that if I knew they did that behind the scenes, I wouldn't ever have worked with them to begin with. Right.
Laura (32:57):
So, so what I love about this is that we just totally unpacked something that is part of everyday entrepreneurial life, particularly when you're working at a high level, which is just trolls on Facebook ads. And you're just completely like just unpacked it and looked at it from a different perspective, which I think is so, so useful. So helpful. Yeah. Good. I could not agree more in terms of how you handle it, but also how many high ticket consultants coaches out there are very much using, now I teach sales and I love, I love helping people with sales, but when it's for good, when it's playing off of people's disbelief in themselves or guilt or anything like that, it's really, all it does is just, it's a road to nowhere when it comes to growing your business. And it's not the best way to serve humanity with your entrepreneurial gifts. So I'm completely on board with that just as we kind of wrap up , just one last question, uh, before we get into our final set of questions. So let's what are just a couple universal laws that every entrepreneur should just understand and master.
Mia (34:08):
Oh absolutely. There's two. All we need is two. I wrote them all about them in my book. But it's, there's only two that we really need to really make a difference. So the first one is the universal law of polarity. So the universal law of polarity, which I absolutely love, I think this law is so life-changing when you can see this law, but the universal law of polarity says there is nothing in this universe that exists in a half. So everything exists in a whole, an equal and opposite, right? So it'll be like this, right? So if it's a complete circle, so meaning if there's an up there's a down, if there's an in, there's an out, if there is a right, there's a left. So that means for lack to exist, the equal and opposite abundance must equally exist at the same moment in time, not a different moment.
(35:06):
That means if a problem exists, the solution to that problem must equally exist at the same moment in time, not a different moment in time. And so when you can start to really get curious and not really like get locked on or fixated that you're in a problem, but start to really see problems as a form of getting really curious, because if there's a problem, there's a solution right behind it, like right at the same moment, then it's the doorway to all the freedom that you're looking for, then obstacles, don't become things that are fixed. They're very moveable and life becomes very, very fluid and inflow. And you know, like I like to say to a lot of my people is like, as long when we don't have a single belief that defines us, we become unstoppable.
Laura (36:00):
Very cool. Yeah.
Mia (36:02):
The second one is the universal law of cause and effect. And so what I love about this law is this is where inside of if I'm the cause. And I like to show it as a tree, right. In my book, I do a whole diagram of explaining it because I think it's easier if you see it in symbols and stuff than it is to try to grab it in the mind. It's kind of like describing gravity. You can't see it, but everybody knows it's there. You know what I mean? And these are these laws, right? Until you start utilizing them. And then you're like, holy crap. Like they really work like, oh my gosh, like, this is amazing. You know, they're like really life changing. But in the very beginning when you're trying to get them, you know, not as just a concept, but let's just say we had a tree.
(36:43):
And so if the cause is the roots, right? Yeah. And the leaves and the branches and so forth, this is going to be the effects. And so what's really important about this law is the way that the world really works and not how we're taught is everything is working from inside out. Everything starts at a root and then shows up. So in reality, results happen in two times, they happen once in the mind and in the emotions and then an outward manifestation of it right on the outside, the mirror is just everything outside of us is a mirror. And when we can really fully get that, that nothing is really in business, nothing is really happening to us. Like it's, I know it's hard. It can be hard to hear that, but if you can take on and consider that if it's not happening to us, that it is actually for us in some way, we've created it. Even if we don't know how you don't, we're not going to judge that. Right. Because I'm not saying judge, it it's just from complete curiosity and childlike innocence. If you were to just like, consider like why is this showing up? This is so fascinating. Like, why is this showing up? You will start to see the link of the cause, which then when you can then shift the cause, well then change, change the change, the emotion, change the pattern, change your life. Right. You're going to have a completely different result.
Laura (38:23):
So, so good. What do you think is the number one key to getting to the multi-million dollar mark and beyond?
Mia (38:31):
Not making it mean anything. Like, I mean, because I've done it like inside of that and um, the key behind it all is really it's going to come down to, and it's going to sound like I'm contradicting myself. Like it'll sound like a contradictory statement, but you have to be fully committed. Right. Highly intentional without any attachment. Like the, like what I like to re like, I wish somebody would have told me a long time ago is that all fear is a result of an attachment. Attachment of something. Right. So if I become attached to making multimillion dollars, you know, like, or millions of dollars, that attachment is what will prevent it, whatever we resist persists. And that's actually what will stop me or hinder me or make it hard or make me suffer and so forth. But if we can totally like literally feel what it would feel like to already have that and then really feel the allowance of it. If we can make it easy. My favorite thing to ask myself, I ask myself this all the time. If this could be easy, how would I make it easy?
Laura (39:47):
Yes, yes. Gosh. So good. Right. You have so much wisdom to share. And if people who are listening, want to learn more about your wisdom, your methodology or approach, where should they go to, to connect with you?
Mia (40:02):
Absolutely. They can get my free book. I have a link they can go to and get my, my book for free. It's called Meant for More: How to Stop Secretly, Struggling and Become a Force to Be Reckoned With, it's the book I wrote that it's the book that I wish that somebody had given me in my twenties. I wrote the book for, you know, if you were given a manual on how life really works and how you work as an entrepreneur, and what's going to make your life work in alignment with flow and ease, this is the book. And so it's called that you can get it for free. They can get it for free miamenformorebook.com and then there's a password because it's not available anywhere else. They just want to put in free book with a capital F. So all one word free book with a capital F and they can get it for free.
Laura (40:48):
Perfect. We'll make sure it's in the show notes too, in case anybody wants to doesn't have a notebook handy or they're driving, you can come right to our podcast page and right to Mia's interview and we'll make sure that's right in the show notes for you. Awesome. Yeah. So great to connect with you. Thank you so much for being here. I loved, loved, loved hearing your perspectives and your experience, and I know it will be a blessing to many. Thank you.
Mia (41:12):
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Laura (41:17):
Hey there, before you head out, I want to let you know about a free new training I have right on a brand new website called yournextmillion.me. It's yournextmillion.me. Where several of my seven figure clients and colleagues share what they're doing in the next year to scale their businesses, to the multi-million dollar Mark and beyond. And I have to tell you, it is not what you think. So check it out at yournextmillion.me. And if you loved this show, will you subscribe to it and share it with a friend, or just say something nice about it to someone, you know? I'd really appreciate it so much. Thanks so much for being here and I'll see you next time.
The Scale with Joy podcast dives into the mindset and strategies of scaling your company to the million dollar mark and beyond. Each week, we follow the journeys of innovators, disruptors, experts and leaders - sharing behind the scenes stories of their most challenging moments and greatest lessons learned-all while building their multi-million dollar empires.